What to say (and not to say!) to your spouse and how to say it
Words just don’t describe reality, they create reality. Every sound that comes out of your mouth, every word you utter, has some kind of effect on your partner. So choose what to say (or not to say) carefully.
Following these tips will help you keep your marriage happy.
- Always be nice and respectful when you are speaking to each other. Avoid rudeness, mockery and backbiting.
- Tell your partner you love him/her sincerely from the first day of the marriage. Even if you think they know it already, or you are expressing your love through your actions, it makes a world you difference to them to hear you say it!
- Praise your partner’s strengths. Acknowledge whole-heartedly all his/her contributions to the family.
- If your partner makes any mistakes, instead of criticizing immediately, explain it to them nicely at the right time.
- Communicate in a way so that your partner does not feel blamed or judged. For example, instead of saying, “You’ve hurt me”, say, “I was hurt.” In the first case, your spouse would feel a need to defend himself, in the second case, he would feel sympathy for you.
- Never criticize your partner in front of others.
- Apologize without hesitation for your own mistakes.
- In the case of misunderstandings, talk about the situation and resolve it before either of you is bitter about it. This is very important. It is much more difficult to resolve the situation once one of you has become bitter and put up a wall.
- Make sure you talk directly to your spouse; involving third parties in such situations can be disastrous.
- Do not ridicule or scorn your partner’s family.
- Be a good listener. Listen to all your partner’s complaints attentively.